Wonderful.

"Promises meant everything when you're little,and the world is so big." - Everclear

"Don't keep it in. Let it out. Things happen for a reason. Adversity isn't permanent."

It comes out as effortless,saying these words to people who are emotionally nuts at the moment inspite of being sincere and all. 'course,I say them myself,to my bestfriends,friends and whoever is as confused as I am. But it's not like that person didn't exert enough pressure on their stubborn emotional board to convert such odious depression to tears,or attempted to open up in order to free that pang of unwantedness when such a burden befalls you. Like feverent tries to shake yourself out of unconsciousness right after a big-ass brick falling on your soft head. Right?
My head is currently swimming with all these swift circumstances that's washing me away in one quick wave. The usual question what's-wrong pops up consequently after a few moments of observations on the abrupt shift of moods. It's easy to summarize it. Everything is wrong. See? Now,how could I possibly elaborate what everything means? Is it really everything? Ha,maybe not. Maybe it's a statement beyond exaggeration. Maybe you think I'm taking what I have for granted and am too busy being broodal to realize what I have. For God's sake,I don't want ANYTHING more than this. I just want EVERYTHING that I have to work out FINE. Just like the lives of normal people. Who are actually living happily in one damn roof,without parents exchanging bad words that make me cry,without the fake smiles I make when tears flood my eyes. I just want everything to be ok. Frequent visits to the past and realiziations of what was there all along when I was simply lost,created a small spark somewhere,when the lights have all been blown out. Dealing with issues everyday and having these angelic people around me still drives me to the edge. What more if I were on my own? If only solitary confinement would deprive me of affecting my loved ones with my sad thoughts. Tough to bring back expired happy feelings sometimes. But the truth is,it's impossible for me to survive each and every day of my life without these few people who,despite of daily monstrosities eating me up so slowly,manage to bring a smile upon my crestfallen face.
I sit in front of this screen everyday,spending more hours on it than with my books perhaps. How could I be such a slave to this infernal machine? It's because.. the internet lives as a gateway - an escape from my harsh reality. For distractions and for friends. Even for just a while,that lovely rush of excitement that dashes through my veins,injecting crazy Dopamine into my brain,when I see a message or one bloody short IM from someone already makes my day. Coz it's within these people who I am not even related to,make me feel so special and I gotta say that,it's within them I felt like family. Home. Hmm. See,delving into the chapters of my book is highly amusement beyond sleep and boredom well-predicted.

Here I end my depressing entry. My chest still swells with all those negative emotions and lala.. Heh,considering I'm a person who gets to divert their attention from hell-sent obstacles,I actually found THIS particular situation a tough one to tackle. But in due time I know I can. I guess I'm just exhausted keeping it all in. Sigh. Perplexed you now eh? Whoo,overdose of french fries finally got to my head. I just wish to send out my thanks to them people who are colors when grey clouds blanket my world. I need not mention because ehem SMS pests was an obvious sign... no?

Though the brain itself has no sense of touch or feeling,I bet my cerebrum is swelling right now. XD